been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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