smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
