Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.

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(619): View more from California

Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

Fav 31 1306 7918
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(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

Fav 11 1802 3463
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

Fav 19 6657 1257
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(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.

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