What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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