Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
