i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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