is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
