I love black thongs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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