The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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