Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
thus making me awesome and them whores
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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