My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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