He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
