it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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