We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
