My first STD was from a foam party
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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