Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize