Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
