took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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