So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
