I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
