Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Terrible idea I love it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
