theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
