u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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