Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
