True but thats because hes a fetus.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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