At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
why is half of my head shaved?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
