her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
