She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
