at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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