I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
