It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is not my ceiling
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
