I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
