I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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