I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
