just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
