So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
