Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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