I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
