The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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