At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
