mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
