dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
