We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
