So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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