I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
