About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
