I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
