I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
