Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
