WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Congratulations! We have a period
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