I want to stick my p in your. b.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
