I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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