god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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